20 Questions to Ask Grandma About Her Recipes

A recipe card shows the ingredients. It rarely shows the cook: why she chose that pan, who taught her, or what to do when the dough looks wrong. The best way to keep those details is to ask, and to write down the answers.

Here are 20 questions to get you started. You do not need to ask them all at once. Pick a few, keep them relaxed, and let the conversation wander.

Before you start

• Ask in the kitchen if you can. People remember more when they have the food, the tools and the smells in front of them.
• Ask permission to record. A phone voice memo lets you listen to the conversation instead of scribbling. If someone prefers not to be recorded, take notes instead.
• Ask one question at a time and give the answer space. Silence often leads to the best part of the story.

The recipe itself

1. What is the dish, and what do you call it? Family names for recipes are part of the heritage.
2. Can you walk me through it from the very beginning? Let her tell it in her own order.
3. How much of each thing do you use? "A handful" is fine. Ask her to show you with a cup or spoon.
4. How do you know when it is done? Smell, color, sound and texture are often the real instructions.
5. What can go wrong, and how do you fix it? This is the hard-won knowledge.
6. Is there anything you always do differently from the usual way? Small habits make a recipe hers.

The ingredients and tools

7. Do you have a favorite brand or a special ingredient?
8. Is there anything you can substitute, and anything you never would?
9. Which pan, bowl or spoon do you always use? Ask to photograph it.
10. Where did you buy the ingredients when you first made it? Shops and markets change.

The story behind it

11. Who taught you this one? A mother, an aunt, a neighbor, a cookbook?
12. Where did the recipe come from before that? Many recipes travel across generations and countries.
13. When did you first make it by yourself? Ask what happened.
14. What was the first time this dish felt special? A wedding, a holiday, a hard year?
15. Who loved it most? This is the question that leads to stories about people.

The traditions around it

16. When did the family usually eat it? Sundays, holidays, birthdays, after a funeral?
17. Did anyone have a job on the day you made it? Who peeled, who stirred, who got the spoon to lick?
18. Did you ever change the recipe over the years, and why?
19. What would you like the family to remember about it?
20. Who should we make it for next?

After the conversation

Write up the recipe as soon as you can, while it is fresh. Type the ingredients and steps, and add the story in the cook's own words as much as possible. If she has a handwritten card, photograph it and keep it next to the typed version. See how to photograph handwritten recipe cards for tips, and our guide to collecting your family's recipes for the full plan.

Then thank her, and show her the finished page. Seeing her recipe and her words kept safe is often the best reward.

Where Distant Kitchens fits

Distant Kitchens is a private family cookbook where each recipe can carry the story, a photo of the card, and a note about who made it. Relatives in other cities can add their own recipes and read each other's. It would make a good home for the answers you collect. There is a 14-day free trial, and you can also give a year as a gift.